I don't know who I am anymore. Of course I know something but...

My head feels like it's going to explode soon. I am seriously sick and tired of everything. I don't wanna be here, I just want to run away and go somewhere where people don't know me.

I feel fat, disgusting, worthless, bored.
I am tired of people I know or barely know. I am always reserved.
The darkness and becoming fall/winter is already anguishing me.

And the worst thing is that I don't know what to do. I don't.

I wanna feel I can, I want, I am something. I wanna be motivated. But I don't know what I want.

I feel like crying. Like there's a big black mess in my head.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
How can I change my life?